Be a Rule Breaker (Rule Follower Part 2)

wreckedandworthy Jul 31, 2019

 

After being a rule follower for so much of my life and realizing that in fact, rule following did not make me feel loved or bring me joy, I knew I had to make some changes.

I asked myself questions to understand:

  1. What rules do I follow for others JUST to make myself feel worthy and loved?
  2. What rules did I create for myself and now follow JUST to make myself feel worthy and loved?
  3. Do I have to keep following these rules?
  4. Do I want to keep following these rules?

After reflecting on these questions, the gateway opened and I realized...

I attended  events, said yes to projects, and overall committed to engagements just because I felt bad saying no and was worried about hurting peoples feelings when in reality, I'm an introvert and do not like these things. This was the rule of keeping others happy in order to be loved. 

I set high expectations of everything I had to and should do weekly, daily, etc. because I felt the need to follow the rule of always being productive and therefore, worthy. 

I did exactly as I was told by authority because I feared being released, ridiculed or spoken down to. This was the rule of working for others so they could like me and feel as though I am enough.

Rules made up by me and others.

Did I HAVE to keep them up? Nope. 

Did I WANT to? Absolutely not. 

So, I decided to be a rule breaker.

Being a rule breaker doesn't mean disrespecting, hurting people, lying or breaking laws. It doesn't mean breaking moral integrity. It means breaking rules that don't truly serve you.

The ones that you follow just because you feel you HAVE to and you do in order to feel loved, worthy or enough. 

It means asking yourself, if your need for rules and structure are there in order to control the love, worthiness and enoughness you feel, or are set to keep you safe and happy?

If you find you are a rule follower, I encourage you to ask yourself the questions above and attempt for a day, a week, maybe even a lifetime to break the rules. 

Life may be a little messier, but with a lot more color and life.

 

Written with love,

By the Rule Breaker

Selisa

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