"That would never happen to me..."

Uncategorized Nov 11, 2019

We often come across stories about a rare disease or accident that took someone's life. We shed some tears, say a prayer for them, feel grateful for our lives then move on with with our lives with the next picture in our story feed. 

It's not that we are cold blooded, simply, there is little we feel we can do within our control and deep down we believe, "That would never happen to me." So we continue on with our lives, nestled in the same mundane tasks because we believe we have next week, next month, next year guaranteed. 

I've been so guilty of this...until it happened to me. 

Last month, while laying on the floor as my children played in their room, I closed my eyes for just a few minutes until I was jolted awake by a large slam on the back of my head. I jumped up and touched my head to feel a bump growing beneath my fingertips. 

Shocked I looked around to gain an understanding of what happened. My three year old smiles as she held the hand of her 10 pound Doc McStuffins traveling vet kit. “It was an accident,” she said. 

“Nuh uh! She did it on purpose, Mommy!” shouted my son. 

I ran to grab ice and asked them questions only to continue hearing the battle between accident and intentional pain. 

Soon after, a headache began. By the evening, a headache that hadn’t gone away and some nausea. The following day, ringing in my ears took over.

I attempted to brush it off. I mean come on, a small child and a toy couldn’t possibly do massive damage. I felt the need to sleep more and eventually got to the point where everything felt hard. But still, I pushed it off. After a week, I gave in and went to the doctor where it was confirmed I hd a concussion. 

The next month was one of the most challenging in my life. I walked, interacted and lived feeling as though I was in a constant fog. While my kids continued demanding everything from me and my husband had to leave town twice for multiple days, I felt alone, isolated, angry, sad, and manic. 

For the first time ever, I thought, “God, please just take me. I can’t imagine living like this forever. I’ve lost who I am and don’t think she will ever come back.”

That rare accident, officially happened to me. 

On the other side of recovery, I can now look back grateful for the foggy season that gave me so much clarity. It was through this experience that I see the fragility of life. It could literally be over at any moment from the smallest and most unexpected of accidents. 

We get ONE shot at this life. One shot that we spend so much time worried of others perceptions, glued to the device in our hand for connection and putting off our dreams until tomorrow. But it is never guaranteed. 

During this time, I became ultra clear on my top priorities. One of them is depth. Depth in relationships, depth in my work as well as depth in the introspection I do. So bringing questions of depth to you that I truly encourage you to sit down, reflect on and journal about. 

1. Are you living life feeling true joy? If yes, what's bringing you the most joy? If not, what's stopping you?

2. If you were gone tomorrow, would you say you've lived fully?

3. What are you putting off until tomorrow? 

Please, feel free to reach out and share at [email protected] or shoot me a DM on my Instagram @selisaloeza or on FB: Selisa Loeza

I promise you I'm now waking and working on life the way God intended me to live it. And I want to share it and live it without you. 

Sending you so much deep love, today and always,

Selisa

 

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