Logging off social media and putting down the phone to return home to me.
Wake up, drink water, breakfast, mother, online school, lunch, mother, dinner, bath, bed and do it all over again the next day. In between, hours on hours added up to cumulate in 6 hours plus of screen time calculated on my phone. Those quick Instagram and FB checks as well as most recent news articles cumulated into a stealthy attack of my time and sanity.
“It's just real quick for work. I need to stay up to date with what's going on in the world. I need connection...with COVID, this is the only way.”
I would try to persuade my inner conscious with what I thought were valid arguments. But my intuition knew better,
“This is damaging you more,” she lovingly told me.
My craving for connection and work turned into an addiction that I just couldn't stop. I needed my own intervention.
I decided to give up social media for two weeks, which turned into three and became a new monthly habit.
And then...burned the bridges
This time away from outer distractions led me to finally sitting quietly with my truths. I asked myself over and over,
“What is true for me right now?"
I got answers I didn't like that brought up much discomfort such as "Quitting Beachbody", "pursue writing", and "allow yourself to be a stay at home mom".
Essentially, I was being led to burn the bridges and surrender.
Beachbody? That was my income and comfort zone. Writing? That means putting my heart on the line. NOT WORKING? I've worked since I was 13 under the table! How do I not?
But I did...and I am...
It's been scary and testing in many ways. But I've felt more present and love in my life than in a long time.
In asking myself and honoring "What is true for me right now?", I've found a return home to me.
Photo Credit: Karissa Raya/Olive La Vida